November 2020

My Sources of Slimspiration since 2005

This screenshot motivational poster is highly Pro-Jeff McCallister and Pro-Edmund Pevensie but it has nothing to do with shipping whatsoever. However, this has something to do with my own perception of how I wanted to see myself in these characters when I was a lot younger. Furthermore, this is my contribution for this year’s Red Ribbon Reviewers’ Month. My dear friends, I would like you to immerse yourselves to when I was a 13-year-old seventh-grader who was a hardcore Home Alone and Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe fan, considering that the former film has celebrated its 30th anniversary and the latter film is going to celebrate its 15th anniversary. Picture yourselves in my position when I religiously tuned in to see these young men respectively played by Michael Maronna and Skandar Keynes gracing the screen with their rambunctious attitudes, ambivalent moral alignments though still leaning on the side of good, yet likable charms. Do you know what sparked in my mind back when I was an impressionable 13-year-old boy? That’s right, ladies and gentlemen. I wanted to be thin like them. I know that what I am about to say is going to be quite triggering. However, you need to understand that I am not going to trigger, let alone implicate, some type of eating disorder to be passed down on you. Granted, as I am talking to you in my present adult self, I am currently 12 stone 12.13 lbs (180.13 lbs or 81.7 kg), but the truth remains that I still have about 1 stone 9.13 lbs to 3 stone 12.13 lbs to go until I reach my healthy weight range. Going back to the time when I was thirteen years old, I may have been a bit lighter than I was in comparison to today, but I was still very unhappy with what I looked like and I almost started to become very wary of the types of foods I was eating at that young of an age, i.e. being super aware of the calorie content of certain meals my relatives in San Francisco were preparing during the arrival of my dad, my mom, myself, my younger sister, and my younger brother as well as the many times my family and I would go out to restaurants or do food shopping. There were times I thought to myself that having something to eat that did not meet the rules I had to be thinner was akin to committing appearance suicide just because I wanted to know what it was going to be like to end up skinny. Enter Jeff and Edmund who I not only identified with in terms of their ambiguous personalities and even the dumb decisions they have made when I was their age, but also the actors who portrayed them who were a lot slimmer than I was when I was thirteen. It even got to the point where one of my biggest performing arts dreams when I was young was to lose a whole lot more weight and participate in a staged production of Home Alone and Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe playing Jeff McCallister and Edmund Pevensie respectively. That would have been one of the biggest successes in my life as a young budding actor and it would have been so much fun to have played a younger brother role rather than the real-life older brother that I am. Even when I came back to Cebu from my Christmas and New Year’s break in San Francisco, Santa Barbara, Los Angeles, and Washington D.C., I wrote that one of my New Year’s resolutions was to be thin like Jeff and Edmund because I aspired to look like that at that age. I did not want to be a massive fatty by any stretch of the imagination and the thought of ending up like that made my skin crawl with disgust and my hair stand on end with fright. Nowadays, as an adult, I still aspire to be slim, though not slim as they were, but for a more different reason other than sheer vanity. At least going back to why I wanted to be thinner and aspire to have slimline frames like Jeff and Edmund had made me realize that I was just an idealistic thirteen-year-old boy with a lot of big dreams, huge aspirations, and no time for setbacks or disappointments. These days, wanting to aim for slimness is no longer a question of vanity or getting the next modeling deal once the pandemic subsides but a question of long-term self-sufficiency, good health, active energy, and the love I have for this short yet insane life of mine. In conclusion, it has been fifteen years since I wanted to become as thin as Edmund and Jeff, especially when I flashed back to the time I was a thirteen-year-old seventh-grader attending a missionary-run school with a whole lot that I wanted to live for. Nevertheless, those memories that I had still hold fresh in my mind to this day because of how impressionable I was at that age. These days with more mature eyes, I can always fall back on health, happiness, and independence as reasons for me to keep on losing weight and live the skinny life I have always wanted to live. I hope you all enjoyed this and I hope what I had to say was not overly triggering. Until then, I will see you in the next submission. Take care, stay safe, and stay healthy, everybody. Edmund Pevensie from The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe belongs to C.S. Lewis, Walden Media, and Disney. Jeff McCallister from Home Alone belongs to John Hughes and Chris Columbus.

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A New Era of Hope for the USA and the World

Barely two months ago, I casted my absentee ballot in order to vote for Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. and Kamala Devi Harris respectively as the President and Vice-President of the United States of America. I may have casted my vote to lift my voice to ensure that the Democrats gain steam in the White House after four years of fear-mongering, despair, Neo-Fascism, conspiracy, humiliation, desecration, disgrace, crime, corruption, oppression, divisiveness, slander, and animosity America had to suffer through. However, I casted my vote as an American citizen, who is in turn proud of his Filipino-Spanish heritage. I may have done my part, which I shall continue to do so in every single election, but the existential anxiety remained for four days within the first week of November.   Witnessing news outlets such as ABC, MSNBC, and CNN tally up the votes from state to state made me undergo four teeth-gnashing days and four sleepless nights even when my third semester in university commenced once more. I was also scared that Biden and Harris were not going to make it in certain states, notably Pennsylvania. I even thought to myself that four more years of that bloated, orange-skinned, ignoramus bastard and his goons would have been the biggest existential nightmare I and many Americans would have had to endure.   Now, I am full of hope, relief, and sufficient joy, as Joe Biden and Kamala Harris ended up being the President-Elect and the Vice-President-Elect of the United States of America! Therefore, they and their families will have to do everything in their power to dismantle Trump’s nepotistic era and bring forth an era of recovery, healing, unity, and equality. Something in the back of my mind knew that Biden was going to ascend to presidency, given that he accrued the highest amount of votes any Democrat presidential candidate had as well as the amount of votes that ended up increasing in Biden’s favor in Georgia and in Pennsylvania. Speaking of Pennsylvania, that was the deciding factor where he ended up winning the race to become the USA’s next president by making it to 273 electoral college votes!   I can comprehend that Joe Biden’s political career has been met with a lot of rockiness, loss, and tragedy, as he experienced the death of his first wife and his daughter from a car accident and had allegations directed towards him when he was serving his time as the senator. Nevertheless, he was strong in his stance and stood tall and proud for what he believed in when he called attention to the genocide occurring in Bosnia and Herzegovina, thus identifying Radovan Karadzic and Ratko Mladic as war criminals, in 1995 and calling out the apartheid government in South Africa for being oppressive to the black population as well as for being a repugnant and repulsive regime. Even when he stumbled in presidential races, he served well as the vice-president during Barack Obama’s rule as president and he managed to bounce back up this year with his debates against Bernie Sanders for running as the Democratic candidate for president as well as Donald Trump in the main presidential debate deservedly telling him to shut up and state that he was a clown. That strength of character, humility in times of adversity, overall humanity, directness, and even being so conscientious about the constantly rising COVID-19 cases in the United States all made him a good candidate for defeating Trump once and for all. Ergo, this is a man who had less than 50 years of experience in politics and what he has been displaying throughout those years have made him shine in his own special way.   Kamala Harris was especially notable for being such a phenomenal figure in the White House from serving as senator to being a presidential candidate to rising above as the first colored American woman of both Jamaican and Indian heritage to rise above as the Vice-President Elect of the United States of America. I may not have been a huge follower of her career, but watching her ask the toughest questions to her detractors and critics while maintaining a sense of composure, class, and intellect made her a striking figure to look up to. For that, she has all of my acclaim and honor.   I know that it is going to be a rocky four years in the White House for Biden and Harris. I know it is not going to be an easy task for them to commence the healing process. I know that there is a barrage of issues they have to tackle with all of their being. I know that the COVID-19 pandemic, the overall division, the oppression, and the condition of human rights are some of the issues Biden and Harris will need to address and find ways to ensure a better tomorrow. However, given the support world leaders such as Justin Trudeau, Angela Merkel, Emmanuel Macron, and even freaking Boris Johnson had for Biden, Harris, and their party, I can surely say that they can do it because their humility, humanity, integrity, and compassion have made them shine.   To conclude, I speak for every American when I say that I was so glad to have made my voice be heard in order to give that push for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris to ascend to the White House. I also speak for everyone in the world that we have watched what was going to occur and, for what it was worth, the catharsis was extremely worth it. Four more years of Trump, Pence, and their goons would have turned the United States of America into the Fascist Regime of America and that is not what my home country was based. Having Biden and Harris restore integrity, sensibility, compassion, and equality to the United States of America was the greatest turnaround not only in American history but also the history of the world.   So, here’s to freedom, equality, justice, compassion, humility,…

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Rock on, Georgia!

Georgia, I totally salute your people with all of my reverence for two reasons. First, the presence of Stacey Abrams has displayed how much respect this woman shall garner not only from me but also all of my fellow Americans because of how she encouraged the prevalence of Democracy to be present in that state. Secondly, Biden took the lead after what it seemed like such a monumentally whopping task. Bravi to all of the people of Georgia for making Democracy thrive! Now, it is a question of how Pennsylvania, Arizona, Nevada, Alaska, and North Carolina will hold up. I am still slightly rooting for Arizona, but it seems like Biden’s lead there is fizzing out despite still being at the top. However, Pennsylvania continues to give me a good amount of hope. So, all I can do is continue to hope that Democracy shall be restored and the blue wave shall lead Biden to victory for the good of all the American people.

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The Whole Damn World is Watching

The whole damn world is watching And that is an undeniable fact. There is no time for joshing Nor is there time to hold back.   For four years, Donald Trump has brought gloom Not only to the Americans but all citizens of the world. Through him, there was oppression, anguish, and doom with the pillars of Democracy unfurled.   I, as an American of Filipino-Spanish blood, did not know how bad things were going to get. Now, that my eyes have seen Trump’s horrid flood It is high time to make him lose his bet.   I voted for Biden two months ago by mail-in ballot, mind you, Knowing that Democracy’s return shall flow And hope can blossom anew.   Throughout this duration of the election, I and the good American people were shaking. This was a really close selection. Let us hope the new president does not leave us quaking.   I have had it from the bottom of my toes to the top of my head With Trump’s belittling, bullying, greed, and pig-headedness! Every time he opened his mouth, I would dread. I knew this barbarian was baseless.   With Biden gaining steam in the likes of Michigan and Wisconsin, Democracy can ride forth with victorious pride. However, Trump’s, and his goons’ minds are so dim To the point where they only had my remarks so snide.   This year’s election is not a joke. This year’s election is not a game. It is no longer about being woke, It is now about distinguishing integrity from shame.   COVID-19 should have been the impetus for realization. However, Trump and his base were to ignorant. With Biden, at least he can prioritize security and immunization. Now, we have now seen Trump as foolish and flippant.   Atrocities like withdrawing from The Paris Climate Agreement were not enough to hammer home in his thick skull That he has placed the USA in confinement And reduced relations with the allies to null.   Do we still want a president who fires other left and right? Do we still want a president who devalues service and sacrifice? Hell no, we don’t need no shagging fool full of spite! Hell no, we don’t need no brain and heart the size of lice!   It is time for grace, honor, and duty To return to presidency for good and for all. That is not me being arrogant or snooty. That is me proclaiming that we don’t want another free-fall.   Biden is my man. Now and forevermore. He shall take the stand. He shall commence a whole new lore.   Keep in mind that the whole damn world is watching. That is an undeniable fact. There is no time for joshing Nor is there time to to hold back.   Make the right choice. Choose Biden, choose blue, choose democracy. My fellow Americans, you have a voice. Never give in to lies and hypocrisy.

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Make the Right Choice and Dump Trump

I’m gonna say this once and I’m gonna say this again. That bastard Trump, his spawn from Hell, and his equally bloodthirsty cronies are a menace to society, especially to the American people. While there have been turnouts leaning towards Biden’s favor in certain states, I am incredibly appalled that there are still many people who could still vote for a “poco hombre” who lies, cheats, thinks he can do whatever he can to please his own damn ego, puts civilians lives at risk to the point of having blood on his hands during this damnable COVID-19 pandemic, has made the United States nothing more than a mere laughingstock for the rest of the world to point their fingers on and laugh to their hearts’ content in the most ironic way, destroys everything that has been well-established such as the USA pulling out of the Paris Climate Agreement, mocks the disabled, LGBTQ plus community, and minorities, has caused a series of deportations to occur to families who wanted to make better lives for themselves in the Land of Opportunity, bears unscrupulous business practices and work ethics, cannot sacrifice himself to save the American people and everything that defines them, does not uphold true patriotic values, and all the other atrocities I can name off the top of my head! A vote for Trump means turning the United States of America into a massive Fascist dictatorship! If you have any decency or humanity left within you, you will make the right choice and dump this orange devil’s ass and throw him to oblivion! For the love that is humane, full of integrity, and rich with common human decency, go blue aka The Biden and Harris route. I did and I will never ever regret it, even if I were to be hanging upside down. I shall reiterate. If you still continue to support Trump and his bullshit ideology, I highly recommend you to get the fucking Hell out of my face until I no longer see you. This year’s election is a true test to my own patience, decorum, and everything I hold dearly as an American citizen living in Berlin for the past eight years of my life as a twenty-something-year-old. Ergo, there is a big chunk of me that is in deep existential shit, my friends, Deep Existential Shit, Arkansas. If you still think it is all right to call our veterans a bunch of losers, thus undermining their efforts to protect, serve, and fight for the United States of America and who have sacrificed their lives to do so, if you still think it is okay to put yourself on top of a pedestal as if you are some god of the world, if you still think it is okay to separate children of parents who have non-white backgrounds especially those with a Hispanic background, if you still think it is okay to jeopardize the ties the United States of America has been building with their world allies, if you still think it is okay to undermine a deadly pandemic which the United States of America has found itself perched atop the medal platform for the most deaths in the world overtaking China and Italy, if you still think it is okay to fire those who disagree with you for whatever petty reason you have, if you still think it is okay to make shady deals with the likes of Russia and China while playing into their game, if you still think it is okay to be selfish and have goals to satiate your ego, if you still think it is okay to endanger everyone’s lives during this pernicious pandemic, and if you think it is okay to bully minorities, women, and those with disabilities, you only have my wrath, ire, fury, and anguish to extinguish every single thing you are defined by. I almost thought this year would be the year the American people would wake up and wizen up for once. While that did happen for some, there are those hooligans who still embrace ignorance, close-mindedness, science denial, and complete barbarism. Therefore, it still shows how much ignorance and a complete lack of character can encroach a person from the inside. At least, this has made me wake up to how horrid Trump’s ideology has turned out to be. So, it goes without saying. For the love of decency, common sense, and compassion, I plead with all the United States of America to dump Trump for good and for all. We don’t need a classless, destructive, crummy barbarian in office. This has been Antoni urging you to please make the right choice now before it is too late.

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The Prelude to My November Weight Loss Goals

Happy All Saints’ Day, everybody. Here it is, the third -ber month, and I started off quite well by going from 13 stone 1.65 lbs down to 13 stone 1.21 lbs (183.65 lbs to 183.21 lbs or 83.3 kg to 83.1 kg), which means that I have at least managed to lose 7.04 ounces or 200 grams of my weight. It may not be the greatest launching pad for this month’s weight loss journey, but this is the impetus for me to not let my determination waver because I want and need to ensure that I lead a healthy and prosperous life free from inhibitions. Furthermore, my BMI has at least shrunk down to 29.1, which is still on the overweight side though I can only go onwards and upwards from here. My goal by the end of this month is to be below 12 stone 8.37 lbs (176.37 lbs or 80 kg). It is going to be a challenging, but I am willing to accept hitting that target weight with every bit of will power I have. Even if I were to only manage lose 5 pounds or 2.27 kilograms of my weight by the end of this month, I always believe that any weight that is lost is better than any weight regained. Even with the second lockdown coming into full swing in the duration of this month, I want to keep persevering not only for my nieces, nephews, role models, parents, uncles, aunties, friends, and younger siblings, but mainly for me, as I do not deserve to live sedentarily. I need to live as bravely and confidently as possible and losing weight is what will enable me to enjoy my life, my career, and my grand prospects to the fullest. Let the great yet rocky work of November commence with all of its vertigoes and its insanities before the holidays arrive. My motivation will never stumble or quaver in the slightest iota. Have a most blessed and reflective All Saints’ Day.

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