November 2023

One Bloody Jungle Sibling Warfare

This first version of the death battle meme template belongs to Death-Driver-5000 and is dedicated to everybody who finds the idea of having two groups of seven-sibling jungle warriors in the forms of The Royal Jungle Slaughterers (Bundroc, Malb’yat, Tarzan, John Carter, Kavandavanda, Aroc, and Sheena) and The Brawny Jungle Brawlers (Anabebe, Tar-Chan, Rod, Nid, Michael, Matt, and Lisa) engaging in an all-out, feral, and animalistic death battle in the African jungle. Sit back, relax, and revel in this epic jungle warfare between two groups of powerful siblings who fight each other to the death with no protective gear, no gloves, and no restrictions. It is no-holds-barred and all rules are thrown away, thus making them go all out on each other. Ah, the year of our Lord 1993. The birth year of the first UFC match in Denver, Colorado at the McNichols Sports Arena. However, I am not here to talk about that historical martial arts event. I am here to take you out of the civilized world of that aforementioned arena and relocate you to the lush yet savage African jungles. There you will hear all the thundering roars and visceral snarls occurring between two groups of seven-sibling jungle warriors attempting to take each other down with their bare hands, claws, fangs, muscles, and unparalleled combat skills. Each of these two teams of jungle warrior siblings consists of six muscular, virile, strong, and brawny brothers and one fierce, fearsome, and mighty sister. It is not every day that spectators witness two groups of powerful jungle warrior siblings fighting to the death, but it is an exciting spectacle to witness. Blood spews like waterfalls at the contestants’ mouths with every blow delivered to them. Even all of the jungle animals are howling, roaring, and wailing at the rampaging competition between two sets of jungle giants. Truly a Maenadic frenzy brewing in the jungle. As I stated before, this was 1993 in the African jungle of the Congo. Two groups of mightily powerful jungle warrior siblings are duking it out, with the jungle men wearing nothing but G-strings and the jungle women donning revealing two-piece brassieres. They were respectively known as the Royal Jungle Slaughterers of the Mangani Tribe and the Brawny Jungle Brawlers of the Savannah Tribe. The Royal Jungle Slaughterers of the Mangani Tribe consisted of 31-year-old Bundroc, 31-year-old Malb’yat, 30-year-old Tarzan, 30-year-old John Carter, 30-year-old Kavandavanda, 29-year-old Aroc, and 25-year-old Sheena and were known for being ferocious fighters against fiercer opponents while being staunchly protective of their jungle domain. The Brawny Jungle Brawlers of the Savannah Tribe consisted of 28-year-old Anabebe, 28-year-old Tar-Chan, 27-year-old Rod, 27-year-old Nid, 26-year-old Michael, 25-year-old Matt, and 22-year-old Lisa and managed to match muscular brawn with barbaric combat prowess. Together, these two teams of jungle warrior siblings were a combination of muscular brawn and feral ferocity. The contest started with Bundroc, Malb’yat, Tarzan, John, Kavandavanda, and Aroc challenging Anabebe, Tar-Chan, Rod, Nid, Michael, and Matt to a bodybuilding posedown, as their bulgingly sculpted muscles were put on full display for the spectators to witness. Meanwhile, Sheena and Lisa had their own figure contest to see who had the most alluringly curvaceous figure. As the twelve jungle kings were imposing, muscular, and virile, their bodybuilding posedown had them doing front-double biceps, back-double biceps, front lat spread, the crab version of the most muscular pose, abdominal and thigh, rear lat spread, and side triceps. As for the two jungle queens, their voluptuousness and fierceness were enough for the spectators to cheer for them. After such astounding physical displays, the two groups of mighty jungle siblings commenced their pre-challenge trash talk while wishing each other much success. The tension started to increasingly brew, especially when the twelve jungle kings flexed their bulging muscles at each other while roaring like lions and the two jungle queens snarled at each other. Bundroc boasted that he would crush Anabebe to fine dust, while Anabebe also boasted that he would smash all of Bundroc’s body parts until he was numb. Malb’yat claimed that he would break all of Tar-Chan’s bones with his bare hands, while Tar-Chan also claimed that he would bite and snap Malb’yat’s neck in two. Tarzan was more than happy to thrash Rod to smithereens, while Rod was excited at the prospect of painfully pummeling Tarzan. John was anticipating the moment when he made Nid submit to his power, while Nid was itching to give John a thorough beating all over his body. Kavandavanda roared at Michael declaring that he was going to beat him up until all of his blood was depleted, while Michael snarled at Kavandavanda saying that he was going to shower him with multiple blows and feed his battered body to the leopards. Aroc growled at Matt stating that he was going to squeeze him until he no longer breathed, while Matt barked proclaiming that he was going to maul Aroc in every part of his body. Sheena and Lisa sneered, snarled, and roared like lionesses at each other. The battle drums resounded. The two groups of seven-sibling jungle warriors clashed, and the fight began. This jungle version of mixed martial arts demonstrated the combination that these two groups of jungle warriors had in fighting styles. Bundroc’s, Malb’yat’s, Tarzan’s, John’s, Kavandavanda’s, Aroc’s, and Sheena’s hybrid martial arts combined Pankration, Ancient Greek Wrestling, Ancient Greek Boxing, Vale Tudo, Luta Livre, Shootfighting, and Lutte Senegalaise. Anabebe’s, Tar-Chan’s, Rod’s, Nid’s, Michael’s, Matt’s, and Lisa’s hybrid martial arts combined Pankration, Mixed Martial Arts, Professional Wrestling, Vale Tudo, Kapu Kuialua, Luta Livre, and Hardcore Wrestling. Even with their combined martial arts influences, one attribute they both have in common is their use of animal instincts and techniques to make them the wild, unrestrained, and feral fighters they were. There was a lot of fist-flying, gory grappling, radical wrestling moves, muscle-writhing, joint-crushing, and blood-gushing occurring throughout the jungle arena, and neither group of jungle warrior siblings wanted to cease with the bloodshed. Bundroc, Malb’yat, Tarzan, John, Kavandavanda, and…

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A Ferally Virile Tribal Muscle Death Battle

This first version of the death battle meme template belongs to Death-Driver-5000 and is dedicated to everybody who is entertained with the idea of having the four hulking and musclebound warlord brothers Zula, Conan, Ka-Zar, and Arkon and the four mighty and beastly wild warrior brothers in George of the Jungle, Basuli, Tarzan, and Maugli engage in a blood-spewing death battle full of muscles, strength, and virility. Sit back, relax, and revel in this manly carnage between four brutal warlord brothers and four wildly feral brothers. I take you back to 2001, considering this was the year that Disney’s The Legend of Tarzan aired on UPN’s Disney’s One Too programming block. This was also year this death battle took place between two groups of muscular brothers from two different tribes. This would be an all-out hand-to-hand bloodbath of a tournament that combined Pankration, Vale Tudo, Mixed Martial Arts, Luta Livre, Shootfighting, Hardcore Boxing, and Hardcore Wrestling. Their battle to the death took place in the Waziri Tribe’s training grounds in the afternoon, an all-open venue where the sun was rising high and spectators were about to witness the carnage. The basic rule for this all-out match between the two groups of musclebound brothers from the Wasai and the Waziri tribes respectively was that anything went. All forms of punches, throws, joint locks, biting, slashing, and gouging were permitted on all parts of the body, which meant that the combatants were going to give each other the unmercifully bludgeoning beatdown of the century, hold nothing back, and go ballistically animalistic on each other with all of their might, strength, and ferocity. The only qualifier for victory was if the team remained standing after knocking the opposing team out. The Bludgeoning Warlords of the Wasai Tribe consisted of 37-year-old Zula, 37-year-old Conan, 37-year-old Ka-Zar, and 37-year-old Arkon, with Zula being the eldest brother and Arkon being the youngest, especially since they could pass as quadruplets of different skin colors and varying muscular builds. The Raging Feral Kings of the Waziri Tribe consisted of 31-year-old eldest brother George of the Jungle, 30-year-old Basuli, 30-year-old Tarzan, and 29-year-old Maugli. All of the combatants were topless, gloveless, barefoot, garment-free, and only wearing extremely revealing G-strings while their powerfully built muscular frames gleamed in the sunlight, thanks to being doused in coconut oil. It was time for the two groups of musclebound combatants to flaunt their nearly nude muscular bodies for a bodybuilding posedown for exhibition purposes, especially for a crowd of warriors from all walks of life. The special guests who also attended this death battle were Zula’s and Conan’s 36-year-old husband Calais, Ka-Zar’s 36-year-old husband Zetes, Arkon’s 35-year-old husband Antiphus, George’s 33-year-old husband Namontack, Basuli’s and Tarzan’s 31-year-old husband Hercules, and Maugli’s 31-year-old husband Kocoum, and they were just as excited to witness their darling husbands engage in a bodybuilding routine and crowning it all with a fight to the death. Zula’s, Conan’s, Ka-Zar’s, Arkon’s, George’s, Basuli’s, Tarzan’s, and Maugli’s bodybuilding posedown routine was the calm before the storm, considering the front-double biceps, back-double biceps, front lat spread, pec-bouncing, side-chest pose, the crab version of the most muscular pose, and the hands-on-hips version of the most muscular pose they accomplished with flair and manliness. After that display of muscular virility, the combatants faced each other. The match-ups were as follows: Zula vs George, Conan vs Basuli, Ka-Zar vs Tarzan, and Arkon vs Maugli. What ensued between the two sets of musclebound combatants was enough to make UFC, Pride FC, and Bellator appear more like sweetly sentimental Hallmark holiday television movies and children’s shows airing on PBS during their heyday in the 1990s and early 2000s. Par for the course was Zula, Conan, Ka-Zar, and Arkon venomously intimidating George, Basuli, Tarzan, and Maugli stating by flexing their humongous muscles at them and unleashing terrifying roars at them akin to the ruthless Tyrannosaurus Rexes, while George, Basuli, Tarzan, and Maugli flexed their muscles and roared back at them like the mightiest of lions while baring their fangs at Zula, Conan, Ka-Zar, and Arkon to show that they were just as virile, terrifying, and unmerciful as they are. After that display of intimidating each other, the two groups of musclebound combatants proceeded to engage in acid-dripping trash-talk which made whatever pre-fight trash-talking in UFC or WWE seem like the Care Bears in stark comparison. Zula, Conan, Ka-Zar, and Arkon viciously smirked at the unfazed George, Basuli, Tarzan, and Maugli who showed no emotion at their more hulking opponents. Zula proclaimed that he would choke the life out of George, while George retorted by declaring that he would break Zula in two like a twig. Conan scoffed at Basuli and boasted that he would collect his battered body and mount him on his wall as a trophy, with Basuli firing back with his acid-dripping threat of snapping Conan’s neck with his bare hands and sinking his fangs into it for his meal. Ka-Zar cruelly smirked and cackled at Tarzan saying that he would use his mighty muscles to crush him and make his body into fine dust, and Tarzan shot back with a vicious taunt of devouring Ka-Zar’s beaten body whole, flesh, skin, and bones, and all. Arkon declared that he would smash Maugli until he screamed in terror, as Maugli taunted Arkon back by threatening to batter and slash him everywhere and give him multiple bruises. Together, Zula, Conan, Ka-Zar, and Arkon boasted that they would make George, Basuli, Tarzan, and Maugli their slaves, trophies, and male concubines if they won just as George, Basuli, Tarzan, and Maugli taunted Zula, Conan, Ka-Zar, and Arkon back that they would make them submit to be their slaves once they won their battle to the death. The two pairs of musclebound combatants got to their positions and stances. Once the bell rang, the two groups of musclebound warrior brothers charged at each other like hungry lions on the prowl and threw each other a series of sprawls-and-brawls, ground-and-pounds, double axe…

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