Kagome the Mega Frankendouche

This screenshot demotivational poster is highly, utterly, indubitably, and absolutely Anti-Kagome. Sit back, relax, and soak in the ever-burning vitriol I have been possessing for this lousy, lying, low-down, four-flushing carcass of a fugly mega Frankendouche.

Do you ever have that one character you want to eliminate so badly with every weapon or assassination move you have in your arsenal? Was it a character you attempted to find any salvageable traits, but, as you grew up and developed a more critical, you started to realise just how horrible this person was, despite all of your noblest efforts to like them? Would you have found elation when you see the character you hated being dragged so hard? Would you have wanted to maul the character you could not believe you liked but now realise just how atrocious they are? If you answered yes to all of my questions, these were the thoughts that came into my head about Kagome Higurashi from Inuyasha a character I tried way too hard to like when I was a teenager in the cusp of graduating middle school and entering high school, throughout my duration in high school as well as my actor’s training, and even when I was doing my GED in my mid-twenties. Even when I tried so hard to like Kagome, I absolutely despised Inuyasha x Kagome or InuKag with visceral poison and venomous acid dripping from my tongue because they could not cease their bickering and squabbling even when they were coming closer together. It also did not help matters that Inuyasha was constantly saving her sorry backside from being abducted, given the several occasions that Kagome was a dolt-in-distress. Hence, InuKag has always been my most hated pairing or NOTP ever since I was an 11-year-old fifth grader, and it is still my ultimate NOTP speaking to you as a 30-year-old doing my master’s degree in American Studies while trying to finish my bachelor’s thesis before Halloween.

Now, that I have watched Inuyasha more critically and thoroughly read manifestos on what made Kagome horrible and why I used to feel indifferent to her let alone struggle to like her when I was younger, I can confidently attest that Kagome Higurashi is one of the most disgusting, juvenile, hateful, despicable, deceitful, manipulative, sanctimonious mega frankendouche floozy narcissist I have ever seen desecrate the airwaves and even manga pages. She even had the nerve to make me even more irritated at her during the epilogue to one of my most favourite Inuyasha movies of all time Inuyasha Movie 3: Swords of an Honourable Ruler when she repaired those accursed Beads of Subjugation to place them back on Inuyasha in the guise that she trusts him but does not want him to run off again. Again, people, can you say psychopathic, narcissistic sociopath bitch from Hell? Because that is how I best describe Kagome Higurashi. That moment is actually on par with the multiple sit commands from Episode 109 which is what I would consider her dethroning moment of suck to the point where it made me frustratedly furious as a 14-year-old in the eighth grade when I caught this moment of sadism after school. Either way, Inuyasha Movie 3’s epilogue and the multiple sit commands from Episode 109 were sufficient for me to not hero worship this abusive floozy from all seven circles of Hell.

Yes, I know there are worse mega frankendouche floozies such as Naru Narusegawa from Love Hina and Louise Françoise Le Blanc de La Vallière from The Familiar of Zero because of just how abusive and cruel they are, but Kagome is one of those so-called heroines who takes it up a notch because of how domineering she is while expecting Inuyasha to be her pathetic lap dog. The number of times Inuyasha has saved her butt as well as her posse’s snivelling behinds must be astonishing because, although Kagome may have fired some lucky if not barely lucky shots, she constantly depends on him to save her when she could have had moments to prove herself worthy as a heroine let alone grow in formidability. But no. She just ended up as nothing more than a bullying doormat who could not fight to save her own pathetic life, worried more about her stupid tests rather than the fate of the damn world, a toxic abuser who brutalises Inuyasha with those accursed Beads of Subjugation, and a vile harridan of a Queen Bee Bitch who believes that the entire world revolves around her. If this bitch is not satisfied, she would either mope, go into her self-pitying mode, manipulate her army of skanks consisting of Miroku, Sango, and Shippou to support her futile cause or just take all of her frustration out on Inuyasha with her sit commands. It is no wonder why I despise Kagome Higurashi with the passion of a billion burning suns, and this sanctimonious narcissist and sadistic manipulator deserves a harsh punishment that will bring her death.

Speaking of harsh punishments that will guarantee a quick and painful death to Kagome, I recommend the following ways to kill off this wicked tin-head. Dousing her with Judge Doom’s dip would burn her hair, skin, bones, and organs until she is no more. If you want more fuel to the fire, you can douse Kagome with a combination of kerosene and sulfuric acid, light a match, throw the burning match, and watch her burn to a crisp. For a bloody execution, just grab a hatchet, chop off Kagome’s head, torso, limbs, and organs, and put them on a meat grinder to make wonderful delicacies with this pathetic excuse of an abuser as the main ingredient. When it comes to iconic Power Rangers villains, who better to brutally destroy Kagome than the Psycho Rangers from Power Rangers in Space and Power Rangers Lost Galaxy who would gladly stab her to death, slice her guts open, gouge her eyes out, and cut her tongue out all while serving her eviscerated organs to Lord Zedd as a demonic offering. Perhaps something worth having to torture Kagome and make her experience the same abuse and pain she inflicted on Inuyasha is have her being flogged with cattle prods by none other than Jen Scotts the Pink Time Force Power Ranger and Taylor Earhardt the Yellow Wild Force Power Ranger who would never tolerate Kagome’s abuse of Wes Collins’s and Eric Myers’s best bro forever. Even more visceral is having Kagome being run over by a Thunderbird car multiple times until she no longer breathes. Finally, the grand finale would be slitting Kagome’s throat with a dagger, dumping her body in woodchipper, and dumping her carcass in a trash can for it to be incinerated to ashes. Call these gruesome methods over-the-top. However, since this is the month of Halloween, I believe it is appropriate to do away with this creature as brutally as possible.

To say that there is no point in hero worshipping this pathetic, narcissistic, idiotic, puerile floozy is a mere understatement. To say that I abhor Kagome is one of the greatest understatements of the millennium. I just want nothing more to eviscerate, brutalise, torture, and burn this pathetic loser and excuse of a heroine to ashes. Her fans may call me insane, but I do not care. I do not have to patronise this demonic abuser, this sanctimonious narcissist, this toxic excuse of a freak, and this ungrateful monster of a tyrant. There is no way I will stop eviscerating this monster. Her fans may follow her blindly, but I have a functioning brain that would gladly make Kagome suffer pain, deprivation, dishonour, and major evisceration to give her the most brutal punishment known to either humankind or Yokai combined.

I hope you all enjoyed my continued evisceration of this toxic abuser. I am really glad and grateful to have found people who are done with this pathetic hero worship of this bullying floozy and saw her for who she truly was. Kagome Higurashi was an irresponsible, petulant, abusive, sanctimonious, narcissistic, ruthless, and spoiled harridan who deserves to be destroyed and burned. Regardless of her fans crying their salty tears for their goddess/heroine, I do not buy it one bit. Kagome needs to be punished in the most brutal and gruesome way. If my ideas for her brutal punishment can motivate you, I would love to hear them.

Until then, take care, stay safe, and never behave like a narcissistic floozy like Kagome, everybody.

The Infantile, Cruel, and Self-Centred Abuser from Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and Sunrise.