Kagome the Pathetic Floozy

This screenshot demotivational poster is highly, utterly, indubitably, and absolutely Anti-Kagome. Sit back, relax, and allow me to hammer this self-pitying, self-absorbed, idiotic, narcissistic road whore several pegs down to the cold ground and use her head as a croquet wicket. In kinder words, just enjoy the furious evisceration I have for this pathetic self-pitying narcissist of a floozy.

For my whole life of watching Inuyasha’s supposed “heroine” and poor excuse of a “love interest”, I was never invested with her whole spiel of feeling sorry for herself just because she could not measure up to Kikyou’s standards. Sunrise may have tried to make Kagome more of a heroine than Kikyou as well as play up the whole love triangle to a soap-operatic degree, but this had the opposite effect on me as a viewer. In my eyes, Kagome became more of an insufferable narcissist who could never accept the fact that Inuyasha is his own person with his own life, a warrior who incurred multiple physical and mental scars in his life, and he was also an unwilling pawn in Naraku’s manipulation against him and Kikyou, thus attempting to find closure with Kagome’s more superior ancestor. Every time Kagome sees Inuyasha with Kikyou, she ends up becoming mopey, unnecessarily jealous, and a total nuisance. Instead of being the heroine she ought to be by improving herself and her combat skills, she results to what she does best, moping around and manipulating her army of skanks consisting of Miroku, Sango, and Shippou to feel sorry for her. Therefore, I never had and will never have sympathy let alone compassion for this vile narcissist and domineering egomaniac.

Imagine if Jen Scotts, Kendrix Morgan, Karone, Cassie Chan, Kimberly Ann Hart, Katherine Hillard, Dana Mitchell, and Alyssa Enrile were in a room with Kagome Higurashi. I am pretty sure these iconic Pink Power Rangers of the Saban Era would be rolling their eyes and groaning at Kagome’s self-pitying whiner attitude, her constant moping, her blatant disregard for Inuyasha’s feelings, and her self-centredness to the point where they would be indubitably irritated by this pathetic wench. Jen Scotts in particular would be frustrated with Kagome. Jen would go down hard on Kagome and tear her to shreds by stating that she would never be this whiney towards Wes because she and he are their own people with their own lives, they respect each other, and they have something called healthy boundaries, patience, humility, and unconditional love. She would even call Kagome out on her uselessness in battle, willingness to be nothing more than a pathetic doormat, always rely on Inuyasha to rescue her, and, most of all, her bullying towards Inuyasha, despite the fact that Kagome herself is not that much of a fighter and should have asked Miroku and Sango for additional guidance as a combatant instead of using them as her yes-people. Furthermore, Jen would also call out Kagome for not taking her hunt for the Shikon Jewel shards more seriously instead of focusing more on her middle school drama, entrance exams, and other trivial matters. Aiding Jen are Karone, Kendrix, Cassie, Kimberly, Katherine, Dana, and Alyssa who would all bring Kagome down on her blatant abuse towards Inuyasha, her hollowness as a fighter and as a person, and her overblown belief that the whole universe revolves around her. These Pink Power Rangers do not play Kagome’s game of stomping her feet off like a whining madame if she does not get her way or if Inuyasha acts out of line. As punishment for Kagome’s crimes, Kimberly and Katherine are going to tie her on a pole. Cassie, Kendrix, Karone, and Dana are going to chain Kagome up. Alyssa will then beat Kagome on the head with a mace. Finally, Jen the Queen of the Pink Power Rangers herself will have a cattle prod in hand and beat the ever-loving crap out of Kagome with it until all the vicious shockwaves leave drained like a wilted vegetable. If Kagome can inflict that much abuse on Inuyasha, Jen can certainly tear Kagome’s ass to shreds both verbally and physically as well, and she would do an amazing job at it. To say the Pink Power Rangers are disappointed and unimpressed with Kagome is a mere understatement, for they are thoroughly appalled at her lack of responsibility and will to improve herself.

The Saban-Era Pink Power Rangers would not be the only true heroines who would reduce Kagome to shreds, but also Sarasim, Bumblebee, Starfire, Raven, Jinx, Terra, and Katara. Sarasim would perceive Kagome as a puerile nuisance who only knows how to whine and complain. Bumblebee would be flat-out irritated with her stupidity of wearing her school uniform in the Feudal Era. Starfire would be appalled at Kagome’s horrible and inhumane treatment of Inuyasha with the vile Beads of Subjugation. Raven would find herself utterly irritated with Kagome’s self-pity, mopey attitude, and total lack of discipline in her discipline as a warrior and supposed descendent of a shrine maiden. Jinx would not find a single thing lovable about Kagome and see her as nothing more than an empty loser. Terra would not be impressed with Kagome’s track record of being kidnapped nearly all the time and relying on Inuyasha to save her. Finally, Katara would deliver the most painful and most cutting criticism of Kagome because she would never go easy on her. Katara would call out Kagome on her immaturity, willingness to not see the bigger picture of what was going on in Inuyasha’s life, blatantly taking advantage of Miroku’s, Sango’s, and Shippou’s loyalty to her and make her seem better than Inuyasha when she never was, and how she never takes her skills as an archer seriously enough yet only relies on luck. Katara as well as the other aforementioned superheroines have been training their entire lives to master their crafts and not always relied on men to save them. All they see in Kagome is a pathetic woman-child who could not properly fend for herself.

Finally, there are fighting game heroines who would just find Kagome extremely laughable because of her insufficient fighting skills and cowardly way of handling Inuyasha by being emotionally manipulative and tremendously self-centred. Those include Soul Calibur’s Taki, Sophitia Alexandra, Setsuka, Seong Mi-Na, Cassandra Alexandra, Chai Xianghua, and Talim; Street Fighter’s Chun-Li, Hokuto, Cammy White, Sakura Kasugano, Elena, Ibuki, and Karin Kanzuki; and Tekken’s Nina Williams, Jun Kazama, Anna Williams, Michelle Chang, Ling Xiaoyu, Asuka Kazama, and Lili Rochefort. Out of all these heroines, Sophitia, Seong Mi-Na, Chun-Li, Cammy, Xiaoyu, Asuka, and Lili would call Kagome out on her crap the most. Neither Sophitia nor Seong Mi-Na would buy into Kagome’s emotional manipulation because they could clearly see a spoiled child in a young woman’s body who is petulant, sore, and unpleasant to be around. Chun-Li and Cammy would find her self-defence skills a total joke and perceive her as nothing more than a pathetic weakling dependent on Inuyasha to come to the rescue. Xiaoyu, Asuka, and Lili would never pull any punches and proudly say that Kagome is a pure waste of their time in terms of her skills which she barely cultivates. All in all, they would just tell Kagome to get her head out of her emaciated butt, not feel sorry for herself, and actually grow some ovaries if she had any. As it is, they would just look down on Kagome with pure shame and humiliation.

It just goes to show that Kagome’s self-pity, self-centredness, moping attitude, and whiney petulance not only infuriates me, but I also argue several better heroines than she will ever be. From Jen Scotts being more of a strong and take-charge heroine to Starfire being more able to adapt to her new environment and show kindness to her friends to Terra proving herself more responsible as a heroine in spite of the mistakes she has made to Katara being someone who has far more compassion and fortitude than Kagome will ever have to even the likes of Xiaoyu, Asuka, and Lili training hard to be the best fighters that they can be, they totally drown and own Kagome with everything they have. Best of all, they do not need to be self-pitying floozies to attract their men. In fact, all these heroines I mentioned can tear her loser backside into smithereens and hold nothing back. That is how great the likes of Jen, Starfire, Terra, Katara, Xiaoyu, Asuka, and Lili are and just how much of a pathetic loser Kagome is.

I hope you all enjoyed this, and please let me know in the comments below any other heroine who can own and thrash Kagome’s pathetic loser behind. I will see you in the next submission. Take care, stay safe, and never be a narcissistic self-pitying loser like Kagome is, everybody.

The Infantile, Cruel, and Self-Centred Abuser from Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and Sunrise.