When I look back at the rant I wrote about my former high school bully, who in my fury gave her the nickname Crapsack after I blocked her, I felt a couple of things. On one hand, it was cathartic because I never got an apology from her for everything she did and said to me like calling me a fail at life and just being condescending, cruel, and rude. On the other hand, it did feel rather harsh of me, but you know how it is, what goes around comes around and an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. That rant apparently caught the attention of her older sister, who proceeded to say that my bully never did anything wrong to me and just called me a petty kid. It sort of made me realize that my former high school bully does get away with a lot of things because she thought she was smart and all that and she and her older sister are so accustomed to being rude and condescending towards each other as their form of sisterly love. The other part of me was hurting because we were batchmates, I wanted to see the best in her, I tried to treat her like a good friend, and she still had every right to emotionally harass me even after the retreat and Dux Lucis. Going back to her older sister, it made acknowledge how much of an ignorant, stupid, rude, and obnoxious person she is and on top of that, she was a crummy role model to her younger sister. Sure they may have jobs, but does that entitle especially my former bully to think what she did and said to me was okay? No. Did her older sister think that I would easily forget about it even if it were after so many years without even getting an apology from her? No. On top of that, through a really good friend of mine, I kind of realized that my former high school bully was not just mean and unemphatic to me but to a lot of other people when she was a lot younger and even had a rather toxic relationship with her older sister to the point where they are so rude to each other and from what I can interpret, it’s like their parents do not even have a clue on how to discipline them and be great role models. And comparing her to the other former bullies I had, she really gets the short end of the stick when it comes to truly growing up, whereas some of the other ones have actually turned out for the better and saw the crap they did and made their own lives greatly. Just by realizing what my former high school bully was through her older sister and to an extent her family made me realize how grateful I should be to have had parents who ensured that we, my younger brother, my younger sister, and I, stayed kind, patient, polite, and with good decorum. If I were to be a teacher, then this is something that I have to acknowledge. It’s so easy for kids and teenagers to bully, harass, and put certain people down and think they can get away with it, which is why I am not a fan of bullies, nor anyone who puts on a thinly-veiled mask after hurting certain people. Sometimes the words one says to a person can last for a long time and usually the one afflicted will end up coming back with something even more painful. All in all, I am very happy I got myself away from her and her older sister, because like I said, I never want to be as fake and nasty as those two. I don’t need them to be in my life anymore as they belong in the distant past. I have a lot of other people in my life I need and want to connect with given my YouTube and performing arts careers and especially my future career of being an English teacher. There are so many things I need to do with my life and more than anything, I always have to love and respect myself, if I want to live a life full of good contacts, meaningful relationships, and an overall fruitfulness to ensure things go spectacularly.
Venting
Long-winded rant ahead! I didn’t know why this took me so long, but I blocked someone. This was not done out of some petty reason, however, this piece of crap of a person really annoyed and tortured me on a psychological level. I’m sure you already know who it is. That’s right. The same condescending harlot who called me a fail for the most arbitrary of reasons, who was so nice to everyone else but really mean to me, who pushed me away even if I tried to be good friends with her, and finally the very person who whispered to the spoiled brat about me not bringing lechon, acted like such a person in retreat and after all of that gave me a mean look even if I apologized for everything I have done. For the sake of this rant, I am not going to use her real name, which the initials are KEMB. Instead, she is therefore christened as, Crapsack Bitchtits Brand. The first time I met Crapsack, was when she was a new student at my old high school and from there, her initial impressions started to really show its ugly colors. Every time I greeted her, she would never, ever greet me back. Seriously, I have never met anyone this rude in my life! Yeah, it was also pretty dumb of me back then to ask what her nationality was, and she was like why? Even when I was picking up her TWE work which dropped on the floor, she asked me why I took it. Uh….Hasn’t she heard the term, “Thank you very much!”? I don’t think she has! Especially after school when I wanted to start a conversation with her, she just didn’t say anything at all. Crapsack loved seeing me at my most miserable, especially in one rehearsal for Level 10 Sabayang Pagbigkas, which is basically this strong choral performance done in Filipino schools. Now, I was already going through Strike 1, when I had to pay a late fee of 100 Philippine Pesos, which is about 1 Euro and 79 Cents and in the States, it would be about 2 Dollars. The next rehearsal, I was so scared of going through Strike 2 that I was calling my colleague frantically, like 10 times, saying that my driver wasn’t there yet. Until he came and I was completely under pressure because I didn’t have any cash with me either! Then when I arrived Crapsack accused me of calling my colleague an asshole when in fact I was just under severe pressure because I was almost about to pay a freaking late fee. That just shows you how little empathy this shithead witch bitch really had. The following day Crapsack even said to me, “Ewww…”, for what? That’s not all that she did. She was disapproving of what talent I had to offer for singing at the OPM contest, she joined a good number of my colleagues in mocking my weaknesses and to top it all off, when the spoiled brat pretended to snub, Crapsack laughed at my expense. And this was the night before, the violin recital where I had to sing, Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring, and I was only a sixteen-year-old. Thanks to those whores, my performance of Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring was and is a freaking low point of my budding career as a singer because I was still so caught up in the spoiled brat’s guilt tripping nature and Crapsack’s sadism. You two try going up there, and singing something as high art and melodious as this! Go on, I would love to see you try, because you’re just gonna sound like a couple of harpies! I thought she would be slightly nicer when I won that Charles Darwin award when I got an average of 90% and for a moment she seemed okay for now. It still didn’t excuse her for the crap she did to me. Let’s skip to Level 11 where she was not as bitchy as she was when I first met her. However, she did show her bitchery when one of my male colleagues shouted me and she cheered him on. This was not the only time she did something like this. The spoiled brat who wanted lechon for retreat also screamed obnoxiously at me for “hating our class”, and Crapsack cheered her on. Now for those who know me, I always do my best to memorize my pieces in violin ahead of time. There was one time when I played that piece note for note and all memorized and I thought I did well. That was until Crapsack said to me that I make people feel bad about themselves when I memorize a violin piece much earlier and I showed it. Seriously, is there any reason why KMB aka Crapsack is such a mega witch bitch?!!! Now we go to the senior year of my high school. This was her at her nastiest, at least in my opinion. Aside from the aforementioned pieces of crap, she did to me, she was just as condescending as ever. I was concerned why her voice sounded quite raspy and Crapsack proceeded to tell me, “It’s called a cough!”, as if though I were stupid! Oh, that’s not all! During one of our final Sabayang Pagbigkas practices, the spoiled brat asked me if I regretted not being with the batch of some of my better friends and Crapsack was like an evil echo! On top of that, while Crapsack was arranging a table, I wanted to help her, but she said no. I persisted and like the bitch, she was, she yelled at me! The final blow was about a month before graduation, where one of my male colleagues was toying around with one of my dear female colleagues’ arts trophy. I told him to stop and Crapsack proceeded to say, “Yeah, Antoni!” This bitch had no idea how much I hate being yelled at from…
Ah, my senior high school retreat. Not really the best moment of my adolescent life but not the worst either. On the one hand, a part of me felt happy to know that I had good friends in my circle. People who really grew up to be so much better than what they used to be and were actually compassionate. So, I would just like to say, thank you so much for your compassion and your empathy, I wish you all the best. On the other hand, I kinda hated it because of the fact that one spoiled-ass brat, the one in the very front in light blue, complained about me not bringing lechon before departing to this very place. Yet the worst was that ungrateful, unemphatic, cantankerous, sorry excuse of a witch, the one in yellow and in jeans and flip-flops, who gave me this disgustingly mean look even after I’ve said, I’m sorry about the shortcomings I’ve made. And both she and that brat had the nerve to act so fakely saccharine in the I Have a Dream song, which made my stomach turn inside! I hate sounding repetitive, but she truly is a sorry excuse of a person and I highly doubt she’s ever gonna grow up. Even after she gave me that look, I would’ve told her how much of a pain in the ass she was and she would’ve fled and cried like the bitch she was and I would’ve been in major trouble. I know I hate reliving such barf-worthy memories, but sometimes I have to learn to accept that some people grow with empathy and grace, yet others choose not to and only seem to bully to make themselves look bigger yet make total asses of themselves. On a general level, I have grown to be a better as time went on. Sure, it hurts so much when that witch just shot me a stink eye, instead of just forgiving me, because I also wanted the best from her too and I only wanted to be good friends and be very accepting to everyone around me though stay true to my opinions and who I am. But as the saying goes, you can’t always please everyone and I learned it the hard way. So to those who learned to accept me as a person, a friend, a confidant, whatever, and especially those who proved themselves to be compassionate and forgiving, I just want to say thank you so much. As to those other people, who gave me such a hard time, I would just say “get bent” and end it from here. However, I say, I feel sorry for you, because you never knew how to forgive others and I hope you’ll learn your lesson when all is said and done. I only wish you would grow up to be a better person. Sure it’s temptingly easy to tell you how much of a nasty, stupid, unemphatic, insensitive jerk-ass prostitute you were, but I chose not to. Especially to that spoiled, whiny brat who wanted lechon despite the fact that food was already provided for us, it would’ve been easy for me to call you a big, greedy pig. Instead, I just chose to say deep down, I pity you, despite your insurmountable rudeness, two-faced nature and overall witchery. That is all.