Episode

Hello, everybody. Since I enjoyed writing about the “It’s a Wonderful Lie”-inspired episode so much, I thought it would be a pleasure to give you all the complete version, “Your Lying Heart” from L.A. Dynasty which would have aired on NBC on May 7, 2001. This episode would be directed by Benny Medina, produced by Karyn Parsons and Tatyana Ali, and the executive producers would Andy Borowitz and Susan Borowitz.   Cast Jonathan McDaniel aka Lil J as Jay McDaniel Mark Dacascos as Gregory “Uncle Greg” Perez Candace Kita as Josephine “Aunt Jo” Perez Idris Elba as Michael Wellington David Yost as Howard McDonald Amy Jo Johnson as Kristen Carter Walter Emanuel Jones as Tyler James Thuy Trang as Rose Hyunh Austin St. John as Justin Ramirez Adrienne Bailon as Amanda Louisa Perez Tahj Mowry as Chase Eleazar Perez Antoni Matteo Garcia as Antony Mark Perez Dwayne Michael Carter Jr. aka Lil Wayne as Wayne Charlotte Church as Carla Covington Molly Orr as Amy Ashlie Brillault as Tracy Arjay Smith as Grant Kyle J. Downes as Cole Taylor Negron as Sylvester   (Interior. Perez family kitchen. JAY is speaking with CARLA on the telephone.)   JAY: Carla, hey, girl. I know I talked to you two minutes ago, but I missed you.   (Meanwhile, out on the front porch, CHASE is being chased by the family bulldog, LUCIUS, who attacks CHASE.)   CHASE (screaming): Lucius, no! Lucius!   (LUCIUS growls.)   JAY: Hey, Chase, I’m on the phone, I’ll be out in a sec.   CHASE: Lucius, down!   (CHASE is tackling LUCIUS but to no avail. LUCIUS overpowers CHASE.)   CHASE: No! Lucius, down!   JAY: Yeah, Carla, you know I love you, baby.   (CHASE is grunting and screaming.)   CHASE: Lucius!   JAY: Yes, I love you. All right, so, I’ll see you tonight? All right. Bye.   (LUCIUS has some pieces of CHASE’S fabric on his mouth. CHASE enters the kitchen with his clothes in tatters.)   JAY: Oh, so, Chase, what did you want?   (Theme song and opening credits to L.A. Dynasty play.)   (Interior. The PEREZ family kitchen. SYLVESTER the painter is angling how the PEREZ family is seated, with sketchbook and paintbrush in hand, while GREGORY, JOSEPHINE, JAY, CHASE, AMANDA, and ANTONY are eating breakfast consisting of fruits, pancakes, cereal, eggs, bacon, a pitcher of orange juice, and a pitcher of mineral water.)   SYLVESTER (approaching JAY and leans towards him): Stop. Don’t move. Let me see you caress that sweet maple syrup with your tongue.   JAY: Why don’t you let me see you caress a Mentos with your tongue?   (Cut to ANTONY eating a piece of pancake, with AMANDA giving ANTONY a small smile as she is eating.)   SYLVESTER (to JAY): When you are angry, your entire face, it has such character.   JAY: Well, look, why don’t you get up out of my character while I’m eating.   (SYLVESTER stands up erect, as he has a brilliant idea.)   SYLVESTER: I must rush to the easel while the hostility is still fresh!   (SYLVESTER exits the kitchen to the direction of the living room.)   ANTONY: Dad, Mom, why do we have to do a family portrait anyway?   JOSEPHINE: We’re in transition, sweetheart.   GREGORY: And we want a portrait to capture us as we are before we drift apart.   (Beat. GREGORY and JOSEPHINE turn their attention towards AMANDA.)   GREGORY: By the way, Amanda, what are you doing here?   (AMANDA is about to take a sip off her glass of orange juice.)   AMANDA: Well, it’s so dark at my house. None of the lights work.   JAY: Amanda, you have to have power turned on. Call the electric company.   AMANDA: Well, I tried, but the phone doesn’t work.   (MICHAEL approaches GREGORY and JOSEPHINE from behind with two fresh glasses of orange juice for them.)   MICHAEL: Sir, madam. About this portrait…Am I to be involved?   GREGORY (receiving the glass of orange juice.): Well, I don’t know.   JOSEPHINE: I suppose, when it’s finished, you’ll dust it.   (MICHAEL departs from the kitchen.) ANTONY: Dad, Mom, I hope Sylvester’s not painting it tonight because I’m meeting up with my friends at the video arcade.   CHASE: Yes, and I’m going to a Young Entrepreneurs’ Conference.   (The PEREZ family continue to eat breakfast.)   (Cross-fade to the Los Angeles County High School for the Arts cafeteria where students are passing by, having lunch, and chatting. COLE is passing flyers for an upcoming party.)   COLE (approaching JAY and who is managing the cafeteria stall and GRANT who is looking at today’s specials.): Hey, hey. So, you guys know about this party, right?   JAY: Oh, yeah, yeah. Dude, you know, everybody knows about that big party.   COLE: All right, cool. All right.   (COLE exits.)   JAY (to GRANT): Yo, man, how come I don’t know about that party?   GRANT: You out of the mix, bro. You’re married.   JAY: Whoa, wait a minute, just because I got a girl, don’t mean I can’t hang out with my brothas.   GRANT: Hey, cool, but be warned, there’s gonna be babes and honeys up in there. Girls be swarming like bees.   JAY: Let them swarm on back ‘cuz I got the queen.   GRANT: Okay, but once the party starts buzzing, you’re gonna wish your stinger was free.   JAY: All right, hold on, hold on, hold on. The honey is always sweeter at the hive.   (GRANT rolls his eyes while smiling.)   GRANT: Now, you now that bees pollinate from flower to flower.   JAY: Oh, yes, sir, but once they start pollinating, then they…Happen…Uh…Hey, can we just talk, please?   GRANT: Fine, fine, but if you ask me, bud, I think you need to dump those pair of handcuffs.   (As GRANT is saying this, CARLA enters the cafeteria.)   GRANT: Hey, Carla! Girl, you…