The ASS Reviews – Bob’s Burgers

Four frickin’ months of BB.   Such a hard review to write, but it had to be done.  No review ended up further from the script than this one.  THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO COME OUT BEFORE CHRISTMAS!  (Hence the Mary and Jesus joke) Damn food service job.  But interestingly, my thoughts about Bob’s Burgers parallel my exact feelings about working food service– some days I love it and some days I hate it.  I basically picked this review off from a dirty floor, washed it, dried it, re-seasoned it, and gave it to you on a plate, but what else could I do?  Have a good evening, sirs, and enjoy what I worked so fucking hard to make for you.

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Stand Up and Shout Out Loud by Antoni Garcia

I’m gonna hate sounding crass, so here I go! You have to know what the holy hell you want in your goddamn fricking lives because no one’s gonna make those decisions, but you! So what, if your libido isn’t that fully charged and you wanna bang someone so much! So what, if you’re constantly feeling guilt and regret over things that are done and over! So what if there was some bugger who tries to get your attention and acted so sadistically because that person wanted so much attention to the point where that little shit told someone I talk to myself! KNOW WHAT YOU GODDAMN WANT IN YOUR SHORT ASS LIVES! I DON’T CARE WHAT THE HELL IT IS! You wanna know why? Because in my experience this ambition of being an actor for film, web series or even TV, a singer, a voice actor, a reviewer and an aspiring English teacher and dialect coach did not get handed down on a silver platter! I had to be inspired by different people of these said crafts! I had to deal with idiots, pessimists, spoiled brats, trolls, manchildren, people who just love to vex me, ignoramuses, crazy and superstitious religious fanatics, evil witch bitches and a huge cavalcade of undesirable people! I had to sacrifice so much for my family, especially since my old man has gone through so much shit in his life and my paternal grandma has practically lived alone and is a widow, since no one else was going to get their asses out to spend some fricking time with her but me, and my friends, who mean the whole damn world to me! I had to constantly be passionate, enlightened and just plain enthusiastic about anything especially in my field of theater, voiceover, music, animation, and languages! Hell, I have to constantly participate in those said interests especially when it comes to events! All while keeping a sense of fricking dignity, cordiality, and empathy! You think it’s that easy? I’d like to see you try that! I’d really love to! I don’t know how you would fare but what you people do in your lives is all up to you! So don’t you ever, repeat, ever shit all over yourselves! That is all.

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