The Wernerstein Mansion Combat Arena Smackdown

December 12, 2004. 12:25 PM. Grandiosity and an air of pomp were entwined in a frenzied waltz with brutality and bloodiness when spectators took their seats in the Wernerstein Mansion Combat Arena, which was owned by 45-year-old former bodybuilder Ulrich Wernerstein, and was situated high above the snowy Austrian Alps, to witness the carnage-filled blood sport about to unfold, especially since his guards and watchdogs were checking the guests’ tickets for today’s event. With a floor fashioned from the finest concrete, walls intricately designed with marble to look like a hybrid between a castle and a factory, various pictures from Ulrich’s years as a bodybuilder before disappearing from competitions, machines producing his Bulky Bars by the tons, and a golden statue of Ulrich, the Wernerstein Mansion Combat Arena had a long and storied history of hosting one of the most prestigious martial arts tournaments in all of Austria as well as the world.

Martial artists from all different fighting styles, all nations, and all weight categories came to the Wernerstein Mansion Combat Arena to compete against Ulrich and his four hulking bodybuilder goons with the hopes of emerging triumphantly as victors. Spectators had the pleasure of seeing blood spew from the fighters’ bodies, hearing joints and body parts crack from every blow and lock delivered, and witnessing announcers commenting on the fight, referees trying to keep control of the ensuing battle, and martial artists fighting as vociferously and powerfully as possible to win against Ulrich and his goons. From Karate to Kung Fu to Capoeira to Vale Tudo, any martial art was permitted if the fighter was well-prepared to face Ulrich and his four bodybuilder goons’ sheer muscle power.

17-year-olds Samantha “Sam” Simpson, Clover Ewing, and Alexandra “Alex” Casoy, who were spies working for WOOHP, did attempt overcome Ulrich’s bodybuilder goons with their freestyle martial arts that combined Kung Fu and Karate. Even 17-year-old Britney Akiwara, who also worked for WOOHP, tried to help her friends, but it was all for naught. Just when all hope was lost for Sam, Clover, Alex, and Britney, the spotlight shone on the new challengers who entered the arena. The crowd cheered loudly as seven powerful Yokai martial artists called The Splendid Seven consisting of two white-haired dog Yokai brothers, 23-year-old Sesshoumaru and 22-year-old Inuyasha, three brothers, with the eldest being the 22-year-old male panther Yokai with black spiky hair Shuran and his two younger brothers being 21-year-olds Hakkaku with the white mohawk and Ginta with gray hair and a tuft of black hair in the middle, and two auburn-haired sisters, the 19-year-old female wolf Yokai Ayame and the 18-year-old female panther Yokai Shunran, rose to the challenge to combat Ulrich and his bodybuilder goons.

While Ulrich and his four bodybuilder goons were all muscle upon muscle and were sufficiently adequate grapplers, each member of The Splendid Seven had their own martial art that they specialized in. Sesshoumaru, who specialized in Mixed Martial Arts, was famed for his fatal ground and pounds and sprawls and brawls. Inuyasha was a muscular Pankratiast who reveled in his lethal tracheal grip chokes and rear naked chokeholds. Shuran towered over his fellow combatants as a pro wrestler who could deliver obliterating piledrivers and torture racks. Hakkaku practiced Muay Boran and was renowned for his shattering elbow strikes and headbutts. Ginta did Lethwei and bore devastating shin kicks and knee strikes. Ayame reigned in Kyuk Too Ki, thanks to her destructive uppercuts and roundhouse kicks. Shunran excelled as a Shaolin Kung Fu fighter, thanks to her explosive finger strikes and flying double kicks.

This was an epic battle that the spectators paid good money for and one that was guaranteed to be the most exciting battle ever. Guest spectators even came to watch the blood sport spectacle for free, specifically The Splendid Seven’s martial arts mentors, parents and grandparents, best friends who were also their sparring partners, and all of their children who were very excited to see their parents win against Ulrich and his goons because they wanted to emulate their strength and fierceness as martial artists. Sam, Clover, Alex, and Britney even found themselves sitting in the very front seats to witness the carnage. Alex’s 22-year-old bodybuilder/gym instructor boyfriend Raymond and 35-year-old Cabo bodybuilder Robert Beefcake, who were mercifully cured from the Bulky Bars’ insidious effects on their muscles and minds, as well as the spies’ 18-year-old best guy friend, David, took their seats to witness The Splendid Seven beat Ulrich and his four bodybuilder goons to a bloody, messy, and vicious pulp.

Even with all the spectators cheering for the fight to be an exciting one, The Splendid Seven’s parents, grandparents, martial arts mentors, best friends, and children showing outstanding support to Sesshoumaru, Shuran, Inuyasha, Hakkaku, Ginta, Ayame, and Shunran; and Robert, Raymond, David, Sam, Clover, Alex, and Britney joining in the maenadic revelry of seeing blood about to be spewed from Ulrich’s and his bodybuilder goons’ bodies due to The Splendid Seven inflicting massive amounts of physical and psychological damage on them, the question remained. How far would Ulrich and his goons last against seven mighty Yokai martial artists? The seven Yokai martial artists would indubitably overpower Ulrich and his four goons with their strength, speed, and stamina. As for the spectators and honored guests, their thunderous cheers reverberated through the hall in sheer excitement, as the combatants charged headfirst into battle after the bell rang.