Script

All right, ladies, gentlemen, and fellow devotees of anything and everything from the 1990s. Here is the moment you have all been waiting for. The first scene of the “It’s a Wonderful Lie”-inspired episode I would have loved to find myself in if I were back in the 90s to the early 2000s as a rising child star. Seeing that this episode would have been filmed and aired back in early 2001, I figured this would have been the first moment that I would have enjoyed performing in. As for the show’s and the episode’s names, the show would have been christened as L.A. Dynasty with Lil J’ rapping the theme song while the episode would have been called “Your Lying Heart”. I would also like to bring up L.A. Dynasty’s version of Geoffrey the Butler who would have been played Idris Elba, be christened as Michael Wellington, and be just as sardonic, sassy, brash, and flash as Joseph Marcell if not a whole lot sassier than Marcell.   For those of you who remember the scene where Ashley gets dragged home by Will and is confronted by Uncle Phil and Aunt Viv where she actually was, i.e. instead of ice-skating she was kissing a linebacker at a college party, you will remember how the scene ends with Uncle Phil and Aunt Viv demanding that Ashley go up to her room and think about what she has done while Will interjected that the guy Ashley was kissing not a fullback but a linebacker. Even before this scene, Will has even lied to his girlfriend Lisa that he had basketball practice before finding out what was actually going on. Just as Will is about to fetch Lisa’s jacket in the bedroom, he finds out that Ashley was making out with a college linebacker.   Where my character Antony is concerned, he states to his parents and cousins/legal guardians that he is going to the arcade with his friends, but is actually going to a party hosted by junior and senior high school students at Aristotle Academy’s common room, which is the same one Jay (Jonathan McDaniel aka Lil’ J) is going to and where his girlfriend Carla (Charlotte Church) ends up confronting him about his lie about partaking in a basketball game. Just as Carla demands that Jay fetch her jacket in the backroom, he finds not one, not two, not three, but four high school jocks leaving the premises. One muscular jock is tan-skinned with brown hair by the name of Hercules. The second is fair-skinned, orange-haired, and more muscular than Hercules by the name of Ares. The third is also tan-skinned, silver-haired, blue-eyed, and muscular by the name of Triton. The fourth and final one is lean and fair-skinned with jet black hair by the name of Hermes. After the four of them scramble out of the backroom, Antony comes out, as Jay screams, “LITTLE BOY, NO!” You can only guess what Antony, a 9-year-old sixth-grader, was doing with four 18-year-old senior high-schoolers.   Antony then gets dragged home by Jay and Carla, who are still arguing while he is screaming to Jay that he is not a little boy anymore. Jay sardonically exclaims to Carla that she should explain to him what these high school parties are about. Carla even exclaims to him that, in junior and senior high school parties, there are a bunch of pathetic guys who want to take advantage of anybody naive. The first scene with my character, my cousin/surrogate older brother Jay (Jonathan McDaniel aka Lil’ J), my parents Gregory “Uncle Greg” and Josephine “Aunt Jo” (Mark Dacasos and Candace Kita), and my cousins/legal guardians Howard, Kristen, Tyler, Rose, and Justin (David Yost, Amy Jo Johnson, Walter Emanuel Jones, Thuy Trang, and Austin St. John) ensues after Carla leaves, and it takes place in the Perez mansion, specifically in the family kitchen. My character Antony wears a black sweatshirt with blue jeans and black sneakers. Jay wears a white and blue jacket, khaki pants, and silver sneakers. Gregory wears a purple sweater, beige pants, and brown leather shoes. Josephine is in a magenta dress shirt, white dress pants, and gold high-heeled shoes. Howard is in blue, Kristen is in pink, Tyler is in black with a purple vest, Rose is in yellow with a black and gold vest, and Justin is in a red sleeveless shirt just like the clothes David Yost, Amy Jo Johnson, Walter Emanuel Jones, Thuy Trang, and Austin St John wore in the “Five a Day” commercial.   JAY: Antony! Listen! I am not playing with you, boy, now what is your problem?   ANTONY: It is none of your business, Jay!   JAY: Oh, I find my 9-year-old little brother from another mother locked in the backroom with a linebacker, a weightlifter, a swimmer, and a triathlete and that ain’t none of my business?   (GREGORY and JOSEPHINE enter the kitchen, overhearing what JAY exclaimed to ANTONY, and they are not pleased, given their icy glares at JAY and ANTONY. JAY and ANTONY turn to see GREGORY and JOSEPHINE glaring at them.)   JAY: Hey, peeps.   (GREGORY and JOSEPHINE still do not say a word and are still glaring angrily.)   JAY (hesitantly): Um. We was just talking about a movie we had just seen. Um. The movie. It was about four athletes and a high school. You know, and Philip Seymour Hoffman played the coach.   GREGORY and JOSEPHINE: Shut up, Jay!   JAY: Is that the family room? (JAY departs from the kitchen and goes to the PEREZ family living room. ANTONY is glancing down and shaking nervously, as GREGORY and JOSEPHINE still glare at him. ANTONY knows he is caught red-handed.)   JOSEPHINE: All right, young man, out with it.   ANTONY: All right. I didn’t go to the arcade. I went to a party. And, yes, I was with four guys, but I was just touching their muscles–   GREGORY: You have no…