Xena’s body count is about to get a whole lot higher and she is prepared for the next victim.
Well, well, well, if it isn’t Kouga of the Eastern Yokai Wolf Tribe. I will admit that when I was a thirteen-year-old seventh grader, I did have a low-key crush on him because of his savage appearance and how much of a promising fighter he was. Moreover, I did enjoy the rivalry between him and Inuyasha as well as the many times he fell for Kagome, which made me really convinced that they would make a lovely couple because of how well he treats her akin to a princess, as opposed to the constant arguing and bickering happening between Inuyasha and Kagome.
However, that all changed when I not only grew up with more repeated viewings of Inuyasha as well as Inuyasha: The Final Act, but also the realization that this big-bluffing wolf yokai who thinks he is so tough is a clear-cut example of a Karma Houdini, a total ass-kisser, someone who is all talk and little to no action, and a huge wimp of a coward. I say this last expression without shame because after Kikyou’s death and after Naraku deprived Kouga of the Shikon Jewel shards in his legs, he decided to just leave Inuyasha, Kagome, Miroku, Sango, Shippou, and Kirara to fight off Naraku with Sesshoumaru joining in the final battle. For someone who was supposed to avenge his comrades after what Kagura and Naraku did to them and for someone who was supposed to be strong in the feral sense, he did not end up living up to his word, has failed them, did not deserve to have the Goraishi, and, guess what, he did not deserve to have Ayame’s hand in marriage! If he truly had more guts as a fighter instead of just relying on his mouth to “save” him, he would have trained to use his own strength and not rely on the jewel shards on his legs and he would have been a more competent fighter. But, no. His sheer incompetence of not letting go of his own obsession with the jewel shards have made him sink so low as a combatant.
I also mentioned that Kouga is an example of a Karma Houdini. Consider this, he first appeared as a bloodthirsty murderer partaking in a massacre all because some thief took one the shards of the Sacred Jewel. When the thief gave it back to him, Kouga proceeded to slash him to smithereens in one fatal blow. He even ordered his wolves to feast on whoever they please and the next victim was none other than the hapless young girl Rin, who was fortunately revived by Sesshoumaru courtesy of the Tenseiga. Sure, Inuyasha and his “friends” confronted him about this massacre and he proceeded to kidnap Kagome because she can sense the shards of the Sacred Jewel. After all that he did, he ended up being an unwilling ally to help the main Inu gang in destroying Naraku after being tricked by Kagura into believing that Inuyasha killed his comrades when in reality they were killed by her and used as zombie puppets the whole darn time! If I had it my way, Kagome and even Miroku, Sango, and Shippou should never have forgiven this scumbag after all the merciless killings he did and he could have endeavored to just die an honorable death under Inuyasha’s own claws and fists.
By the way, do not ever get me started on how much of an ass-kisser Kouga is. I get that he treats Kagome much better than Inuyasha could, but that is mainly because she can sense the Sacred Jewel shards and nothing more. Moreover, Kagome just strings him along at every opportune moment to give Inuyasha the undeserved sit command, which was never his fault to begin with.
As for Xena, it looks like she has her work cut out for her when she heard about this poor excuse of a combatant. If there is one thing that drives Xena up a wall, it would have to be Karma Houdinis who did not end up owning up to their actions and ass-kissers who talk big but act like complete cowards. Take a wild guess where Kouga ends up. Believe me, when I say that Xena will not hold anything back after what Kouga did to that village consisting of a lot of innocent people who did not deserve to have their lives taken away as well as what his wolves did to poor, hapless Rin and to Kagome for kidnapping her because she can sense the Sacred Jewel shards. I can only imagine that Kouga would try to run away, but knowing Xena, she will not let him go that lightly and will be very willing to lop off his head.
But wait, you say, what about Hakkaku, Ginta, and even Ayame? How are they going to react to this recent turn of events? Xena is so going to come down heavily on Kouga for the nefarious deeds he has done and will be completely upfront to his so-called posse Hakkaku and Ginta. She would go out of her way to tell them that they truly deserve a better, stronger, more formidable comrade and friend than Kouga because he was nothing more than a wimp in tough guy’s garb. The very people she would suggest to form a great alliance with would be Sesshoumaru, Shuran, and Inuyasha because of their strength, honor, toughness, and willingness to go headfirst into battle. She would even threaten Hakkaku and Ginta if they were to go back running to Kouga with the tip of her blade. Knowing the reputation Xena has, Hakkaku and Ginta will obey and realize that Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha as well as Shuran of The Panther Devas are much better friends, comrades, and allies to have than their “friend” who was nothing more than a cowardly killer. Besides, Shuran would be the big guy with a big personality who will be more than happy to accept Hakkaku and Ginta as his friends, be willing to protect them from harm, and train them to become stronger fighters with their own minds. Moreover, he would be totally cool with Hakkaku and Ginta hooking up with his little sisters Karan and Shunran respectively.
As for Ayame, she is going to have that same talking to from Xena but in a way that will make her realize that Kouga is definitely not the man for her, considering his awful deeds and his cowardice. Xena would even suggest two dashing dog yokai in the forms of Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha to be her better candidates for perfect hubby material because they are more courageous, determined, formidable, and iron-clad than Kouga will ever be. She would also point out that unlike Kouga who usually runs away from battles, Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha go at them headfirst. Sure, Sesshoumaru would take Ayame’s fancy considering how tall, handsome, powerful, and well-groomed he is and he does seem like the type of gentleman who can be able to inspire her to be a stronger fighter. However, when it comes to these dog yokai brothers, she would automatically go for Inuyasha in an instant because of how strong, steadfast, upfront, and courageous he is. As for Sesshoumaru, she would end up seeing him as a crush at best but a very wonderfully supportive friend at the end of the day. She will end up saying farewell to Kouga and be off to Inuyasha to be happily wed with him complete with Sesshoumaru’s blessings.
Looks like Kouga has two options. Either he mans up and own up to his perfidious ways or dies an honorable death through Xena’s blade. Personally, I would not mind at all if he ended up having Xena’s blade driven into his legs and then his heart because of what he has done to his fallen comrades and the people he has slaughtered. Karma really does bite Kouga hard in the neck and he will have Hell to pay.
There you have it, my beloved Anti-Kouga friends. You shall bask in the carnage of what this pathetic wolf yokai did to besmirch his name and the many lives who were lost courtesy of not only him but also his wolves. Hakkaku, Ginta, and Ayame should be grateful that they distanced themselves from this low-down coward because if they did not, they would have faced Xena’s blade too. At least, Ayame knows fully well that Kouga should not be the way to go and she can have Inuyasha as her handsome mate and Sesshoumaru as her most beloved big brother-in-law. Without any further ado, Xena might as well have the pleasure of showing what true pain really means. No worries, though. Sango can endeavor to join Kouga in a one-way ticket to the afterlife via Xena’s sword. Therefore, Kouga can at least have someone stronger than Kagome go to the afterlife with him.
I hope you all enjoyed this and I will see you in the next submission. Take care and stay safe, everybody.
Xena: Warrior Princes belongs to John Schulian and Robert Tapert.
Kouga from Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi.
